i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
