some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
