there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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