I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
