Pants 0. Shit 1.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
