this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
