Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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