Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
