You surviving the open bar?
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Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
