I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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