Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
