dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
