no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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