Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
