Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
