I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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