Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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