To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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