Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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