Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
