Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize