I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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