I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
