Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
