the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
