You can't special order awesome
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
why is half of my head shaved?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
