I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
