i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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