i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
