Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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