everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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