my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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