His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Boobs are out for the taking
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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