Soap is not a condiment
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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