My sheets look like a crime scene.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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