I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
