We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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