I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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