There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
