She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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