Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize