its not stalking. its research.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
