as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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