it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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