its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
