turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
