Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
