I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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