im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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