the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
