I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
His nipple licking is glorious
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
