did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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