I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
