Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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