Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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