note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
