Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
