I cannot find my penis.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
