Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
