It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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