My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
