STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This is the high leading the old right now
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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